Can someone explain why I, as a rational and educated woman, absolutely lose my mind at Target? In the past, I have treated Target like an exclusive Parisian boutique to which I may never return, so I buy everything in sight. But it's my latest development that is giving me a headache. I think I have Target Tunnel Vision. It's not just that I think I need everything in the store; it's that I make separate trips to purchase them.
I understand that life with kids lobotomizes us at times. Even in pregnancy, I would have moments where I couldn't remember words, likening the process of retrieving them from my memory to opening an old, creaking file cabinet and rooting through its ancient, crumbling contents. Once Peter called from work to ask what he needed to pick up from the store; I stumbled, "You know, the stuff for the, um, you know breakfast thing? The cereal? You know, it's white?" Mystery word: MILK. And I have a degree in Linguistics.
But these days, my memory is fine. I aspire to be a very organized person at work and at home (though one is markedly more difficult) and I consult my hot pink SugarPaper Planner (purchased at Target last year) with regularity. I make lists, and check things off. But when I get in the store, my Tunnel Vision kicks in. I walk in thinking giftformolly giftformolly giftformolly and forget that I need cheese sticks, socks, and a new camera card.
I try to figure out why this happens. I don't know if it's the distractions of finally being
free alone that makes my head turn, or the fact that I walk right by all of these items I need, even though they are on a list that I ignore.Maybe I was distracted by the fact that I had forgotten my coupon for Boudreaux Butt Paste, or maybe I was annoyed that the dvd of The Great Gatsby had dropped to $10 when I paid $13 last week. Maybe it was Chubby's gleeful chorus of "Mama! Mama Mama MAMA!" and the ensuing giggles that made my mind wander from the necessary tasks. But whatever the motivation, the result is the same. Thus, in the last week, I have been there nearly every day.
Some might argue that I find myself there so frequently because it's a haven, a respite from the craziness of life where I can find relief and retail. Yes, it's convenient - it's just a few miles from my house, and carries nearly every item I need. It's open until 11:00 p.m. which is perfect for the-kids-are-asleep-now-i-can-eat-and-oh-wait-what's-left-in-the-fridge moments. My Target even has a Starbucks. The prime location and treats alone would inspire any working mom to attend services at the Church of Red Dot. But something else is going on that I can't figure out quite yet. If I ever make it over to the self-help book section, I'll let you know.